There's no place like...well, Memphis for sure.

As much negative press as Memphis has received in the past five or so years, and especially after the negative remarks made by Mr. Forbes this past spring, I was thinking yesterday that I kinda miss that wretched, crime infested stink hole right there on the Mississippi River. Thanks to a certain CBT, I have been reminded of all of the upcoming festivities that the spring holds for the worst city in the USA, and thanks to his pictures, I'm now craving some pigs on tortilla chips. As I was sitting on my couch yesterday, absorbed by the beauty (laugh all you want, I couldn't care less) that is Edward, a thunderstorm cropped up outside my window. What the heck does this have to do with Memphis? Well, a lot actually. As Memphis is situated right on the north end of tornado alley, we get some doozies of thunderstorms. Luckily my house was never badly beaten as I lived right on the river and the bluffs pushed those bad boys onto the lucky homeowners in Midtown! (It is Memphis, right?) Right after I moved here, I noticed that my 3:00 on Wednesday drinking call was non-existent here in the VA. For so many years, every Wednesday at 3:00, the tornado sirens would wail across the city to ensure they're working properly so the old folks know when it's time to crawl into the bathtub with the mattress over their heads. (If you think I'm kidding, I'll find picks of my own grandmother in said position.) Even before I lived in Memphis, the sirens would blair at 12:00 on Friday, every single week in Little Rock. As I have always grown up with this alarm, I have really never thought anything of it. Even if there was an actual tornado coming down the street, my dad would usually decide we should go to Waffle House to get a bite to eat, since, you know, it could be our last and we were definitely going for quality in this particular situation. After about three weeks of hanging in the capital city, I noticed that I was missing something in my life (besides, you know friends, family, good mexican food, a job...). There are no tornado sirens here. In fact, the last thunderstorm we had (which was broadcast on the news like the end of times was coming) had no thunder. There were a few flashes of lightening off in the distance, but the storm was so far away, we couldn't even hear the booms that were supposed to follow. I counted seconds for what seemed like hours...

So yesterday, as I was completely absorbed in my werewolf/vampire drama, I noticed that it was actually thundering outside. I didn't see flashes of lightening because the sky wasn't dark enough, but there was some thunder. After being distracted for about .01 seconds (who can tear their eyes away from a vampire longer than that? Maybe he "dazzled" me...), I returned to the movie. Then came the "ping, ping, pa-ping," Those of us from the south know that sound like the tune of an Elvis song. We were getting HAIL! I couldn't believe it. It made me feel like we were getting an actual thunderstorm. Of course, it only lasted for maybe 3 minutes total, but there were all of the elements of a real storm. All this did for me was make me miss home like a crazy woman. But, I guess I'll just have to bring the south up here with me. CBT, send some of those nachos my way!

Prepare for battle!As a

I have discovered that substitute teaching is a lot like going in to a battle where the previous commander had very specific ways of accomplishing his tasks and then leaves you to do what you can with the people he left you. It is really a monumental task to step into a classroom, read over a two page document (maybe...) for direction, and man the steering wheel of 24 kids for the rest of the day. The funniest part of the whole endeavor is that kids are always very quick to tell you just how you have done something wrong. "Well, Mrs. So-and-so doesn't do it that way. We have never done it like that." My response "Well, Mrs. So-and-so isn't here today so until you're the boss of me, we are going to do it my way." (That's what I say in my head, at least!) It's very difficult to step into the shoes of the revered teacher and try to do things exactly like she does, especially without having ever seen her do things her way. Imagine walking into your current job but the only instructions that you have are typed on the front and back of one sheet of paper and left on your desk. There are 25 people counting on you to step flawlessly into your role, and if you don't, it could ruin (literally, ruin) their day.

As a previous classroom teacher, I thought substituting was going to be an easy gig. The teacher leaves you a bunch of busy work, the kids do what they are supposed to do, and if they're really good you spend the afternoon watching a movie. BOY WAS I WRONG!!! I forgot the small part of being a student where the best part of the school year was when a substitute teacher came in and no one did what they were told. It was a day to test limits and see what we could get away with. That small fact is still true. I have figured out that the older the student are the more they are going to test the limits. The younger the students are the more they want their day to be exactly like it is when the regular teacher is there. I guess the best part of subbing is that I do not have to have any conferences, I do not have to write lesson plans, I do not have to grade papers, and I do not have to sweat the bad behavior when I leave the school building. As great as all of these things are, the worst parts of subbing have to be the fact that you go into your task blind, especially when it comes to the behavior plan. You do not know what the discipline plan is, you do not know who is "good" and who has "issues" (though that is not hard to figure out pretty quickly), and you don't know what to do when someone does something that you think they shouldn't be doing. You can only threaten a child so many times about sending them to the principal's office. However, you don't want to be that jerk substitute that can't control 20 second graders for one day... See the dilemma? As taxing as it can be, I have really realized that I was made to be a classroom teacher, and this sub thing is really only a part-time gig. So, here I go with blades unsheathed and war paint on. Wish me luck (or a speedy victory!).

A walk down memory lane

So, this time last year we were eating our weight in crawfish and having a grand time with lots of people that we love. I think that was one of the best crawfish boils/oyster sucks that I have ever been to, especially since J and I were the guests of honor (thanks, Joneses!). The butterflies were starting to flutter and the emotions were starting to rise. We had a really good rehearsal and were able to share the time with our closest family members and friends. On March 7, 2009, J and I became the next generation of the Jones family. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Everything (despite the flower shop, huh, Keith?) was perfect. The ceremony was beautiful, our family and friends were all present to support us, the food was delicious, and everything went off without a hitch. The highlight of the whole day, however, was the wonderful reception that we were able to share with our family and friends that night. No one knew that J had those mad dance skills. All of his grandparents said "I didn't know you could dance like that, especially with a chair. Elizabeth's a lucky girl!" HAHAHA. It was priceless. I wish there was someone out there with a video because it would win the grand prize on America's Funniest Home Videos. Anyway, after a wonderful day and a fantastic party, we embarked on the journey of our first year of marriage. What an exciting journey it has been! We have been to different countries for vacation, we have been all over the country to see our families, we increased the size of ours with our precious Beene girl, we revamped our jobs, we moved to another state, we survived the biggest snow storm in VA in the past 10 years, and we did it with mostly smiles. Everyone has always said the first year of marriage is the hardest, so I suppose that is now water under the bridge. I'm sure that we will have many many more happy years, maybe even a couple of rough ones, but no matter what, we have started something that can't be stopped! So, here's to us: Happy Anniversary!